LIFE IN LOCKDOWN: WEDNESDAY.
Life in Lockdown is a blog series initiated by Greenwich Dance which features community and professional artists close to the organisation sharing how they are staying creative during these isolating times.
John Darvell – Director, Choreographer, Educationalist and Community Dance Practitioner
WEDNESDAY.
The metaphorical thick storm clouds are determined to stay with me today. So, let’s start with some provocations. Does the current funding system work? Is it fair? And, is now an ideal time to rethink our whole damned approach to funding artists?
Why do I ask? Well, another belly punch from yet more ‘sorry not successful, overwhelming response, and sadly can’t give you feedback’ type email from applying to emergency funding. Again, I feel so frustrated after days of fruitless thinking and writing.
Ok, over my 11 years of practice I’ve had my share of positive funding outcomes, thank you. But, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this, during this pandemic I get a real sense of being forgotten and unprotected: Government assistance for small businesses, not applicable; Arts Council England grant and others, applications overwhelmed them; Emergency support funds finding myself ineligible due to a technicality; the list goes on. Even asking my local MP for suggestions came with a belated response with ideas which were costly and unrealistic. So, it really makes me question our whole approach.
Surely there must be a more supportive and nurturing system that doesn’t constantly penalise the unlucky ones. How can we get out of this historical trap of competitiveness? As artists I think we get forced into the status quo so why don’t we collectively rebel? Let’s make something different that works for us! Can’t we?
Sorry, I dislike striking a negative tone, but, if I’m to be truly authentic, there are days my mental wellbeing takes a real battering, like today. I’ve secretly struggled with anxiety for over 12 years now. I hide it well. After all, as an older man, it’s been ingrained in me that it’s a thing not to be talked about. But I need to express it these days especially now as my resilience battery is on ZERO! And I’m not sure what or if any help is coming. I need to be an artist but it’s looking so likely that life sadly has a different idea.
Only one thing to do! Down tools! Switch off the computer/social media world. Reconnect with the outdoors and take the dogs for a very long walk. Walking is my sanctuary. Do all the things I can do to care for myself and my mental health.
SCRAP TODAY. TOMORROW WILL BE DIFFERENT!
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